Sunday, March 16, 2008

PA & Zach's birthday

Well, first, we got our Pre-Approval for Sarah on Friday! I've been so worried about being approved this time because of China's rule change last year. So many good families have been turned down & with Crohn's I thought we might be one of them, but lucky for us we weren't! Now we just have to hurry up on the rest of the paperwork & got over there. This is always the hardest part.

But now that we are officially approved, we can start writing to Sarah & sending her stuff! I have to say, for anyone considering older child adoption it's just as exciting as our other two. And in some ways more. I talked with another family whose daughter was in the same SWI as Sarah (hi Meigan!). Anyway, their daughter Meigan called Sarah & told her we were coming! According to Meigan, Sarah was very excited about having a family. And I am so glad that she knows we are working hard to bring her home. I'm glad that she knows she has a family, even if we aren't there yet. We are all so excited to bring her home.

The other news is that Zach turned 5 on Wednesday and I'm in denial. I can still remember the first time I saw him. He was already 3 days old and in an isolet. They wheeled me up from ICU, still in my bed because I had just gotten off of the respirator and had over a foot of open incisions. I couldn't hold him--not because he couldn't be held--but because I wasn't strong enough to. I couldn't do anything more than stroke his back, but it was enough. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. So tiny, he fit in the palm of my hand. I was so, so sick but when I think of that moment, I don't remember being sick. I just remember the joy that poured out of my heart at finally meeting this little guy I had carried around with me for 6.5 months.

And now he's 5. A big boy. No longer that little baby I rocked to sleep every night. He will start kindergarten in the fall. It seems like such a big turning point in his life and I have to say, I'm not ready for it. I know they have to grow up, but shouldn't there be a way to stretch time? Some way to slow it down until we're ready? I know, I know, I'll never be ready.