Little Knippers

A day in the life...

2009-05-22T09:42:00.005-04:00

In case you were curious, here's a documentary I put together of life in the Knipper household, starring Zach and Caleb. By way of explanation, Caleb has a giant stuffed Nemo that he loves, and gooden gooden is a cloth diaper that Zach has carried around since he was a baby.

Before you watch, make sure you scroll to the bottom of the page and turn off the music.

Pictures, maybe

2009-05-11T08:53:00.006-04:00

testing

2009-05-11T08:33:00.002-04:00

So, I'm updating the blog from my phone. I feel like I've finally entered the new century. Steve got me a new phone for Mother's Day so now I have no excuse not to update the blog. As soon as I figure out how to post pictures I'll have some new ones.

Bullies in kindergarten

2009-04-08T08:27:00.003-04:00

So everyone's back in school (YAY!) and I finally have some computer time! No bad Chinese soap opera's for me, although I am becoming partial to one staring the "Snake Lady." It's set in old China and the main villain is a woman who, you guessed it, turns into a giant green snake.

Anyway, now that school is back in session, we're also dealing with the issues that accompany it, and one of those is teasing. Zach came home on Monday and told us that the other boys were making fun of him because he painted some pink flowers in art and one of the stickers he picked was "girly." He also told us that one of the older boys on the bus punched him in the crotch on PJ day. I don't know if this kid singled Zach out or if he was punching all of the little kids. Sigh. It is so frustrating to encounter this so early.

We have worked hard to just let Zach be Zach. For him, that involves chasing butterflies, planting gardens, building ramps out of mulch bags, collecting rocks, and playing a mean game of Uno. No, he's not into cars and guns, he's more interested in figuring out why things work the way they do. For example, if he was into cars, he'd want to know why gas makes the engine go. How big is the small spark the spark plugs make, and can it make the car explode? Or why does pushing the gas pedal make the car go faster?

He's a great little guy and the best thing about him is that he's original. He doesn't follow what everyone else says, he just does his own thing. I don't want to squash that. But how do I help him get through school without being the kid that everyone else shoves into lockers? We handled the sticker incident by talking to his teacher (who is wonderful!) and she talked with the boys who were teasing him and made them apologize, then she talked with the entire class about teasing and why it was wrong.

As for the bus, we'll be talking to the bus driver and then making a trip to the kid's house and talking with his parents. This isn't the first time one of the older kids has acted like this and let me tell you, having Steve show up at their house and talk to their parents worked wonders.

Zach came home feeling great, and isn't really worried about it right now. But I still am. Right now he loves school. I don't want that to change. I want him to be able to pick the pink sticker if he wants to. Why is that such a big issue? With both Zach and Caleb, we've let them play with whatever toys they want without regard to gender. If they want a pink princess sticker, that's fine. If they want a sticker with a bulldozer on it, that's fine too. Sometimes they pick the pink sticker, sometimes it's the bulldozer. Neither of them had the notion that boys shouldn't pick "girly" stuff. That is until now, when they started hearing it from other kids.

So I'm conflicted. I don't want my wonderful, unique son to change to fit in with everyone else, but I don't want him to suffer through school either. Maybe I'm making too big of an issue about it, but I'm looking ahead to Middle School & High School, and it worries me.

There just really doesn't seem to be any good options when it comes to stuff like this. Send him to private school? Great if you have the money, but from everyone I've talked to who went to a private school, the bullying is just as bad, if not worse (especially at the all boys schools.) Home School? What about socializing with other kids (I mean kids who don't care what kind of stickers he picks.)

Everything is okay now, and Zach is fine. It's later I'm concerned about. When a talk from the teacher won't stop things.

Spring Break with four kids

2009-03-31T16:14:00.002-04:00

NOT FUN!!! I am ready to vote for year round school. And while we're at it, why not throw in Saturdays and Sundays. After all, we have to catch up with the 37 billion countries that are outscoring our kids in Math and Science (forget English, Literature and any other art. Who needs those loser subjects anyway?)

It wouldn't be so bad except Sarah doesn't want to do anything except watch bad (and I mean BAD) Chinese soap operas on the computer and chat with all 1 billion Chinese nationals on QQ (kind of like facebook but Chinese.) Aside from the fact that spending 18 hours a day staring at a computer screen might fry her retinas and her brain at the same time, there's the little matter of the viruses from the site that hosed our computer. Steve was up until 3 in the morning trying to fix it. Luckily, he understood the importance of Math and Science and didn't waste his time on that English junk, so he was able to remove the viruses, and now our computer is in lockdown mode.

With the new computer hiatus, Sarah has been forced to interact with the rest of us, and that means going outside. Not one of her favorite things (unlike calling people "toilet heads" which is one of her favorite things.) So she's been a little sulky, the boys have been fighting because they want to go outside, and Grace, well, she's Grace.

All in all, I say bring on year round school!

Update

2009-03-29T09:55:00.010-04:00

So again I have disappeared from blogdom and I have been told that I'm disappointing my loyal followers. Rich, my apologies! But integrating a 12 year old into the family has been...interesting. :-) (In addition to all of the normal Knipper chaos - for example, I had to interrupt this update to watch Zach lose his first baby tooth!)

Anyway, since my last post we've had a birthday - Zach's sixth, Sarah started school, Grace ruptured an ear drum and had another seizure, and Caleb, well, he's Caleb. Oh, plus we've found a buyer for my mom's house which is the last step in the probate. YAY!

So, updates:
Sarah and School. It's going well. Better than I expected actually. Her English is still limited, but she's a trooper. She gets up every morning without a struggle and gets on the bus. She brings home a lot of math homework - Algebra in the sixth grade, a real challenge for my math-phobic brain! She is overall a very happy child, but it's still weird that I have a child who's old enough to stay home by herself when I take Grace to therapy and can wear my clothes. Very weird! Plus, I've found that a Mother/Daughter viewing of Twilight can facilitate bonding. Hmm, I guess hot vampires cross all cultures. Who knew?

Hmm, "V" for victory over the Americans? Is this our contribution to the world?

Zach grows up. He's six now. Almost impossible for me to believe. He's reading now, and as we expected from the beginning, takes after my dad with an aptitude for math and science. I'm surrounded by science geeks! AGGGHHH! Caleb is my last hope. Anyway, for his birthday he got a big boy bike, a wobble board, and stilts. Yes. Stilts. We officially have the Weird Child. (I can say that because I held the title when I was a child. Anyone who turns their ballet leotard into a life-size puppet for Dungeons and Dragons plus makes them for all of her friends, qualifies as weird.) His current interest, a hold over from last year, is butterflies. There's an exhibit coming up at the Krohn Conservatory so guess where we'll be headed in a few weeks.

Why yes, that is a short-sleeved silk Chinese outfit he's wearing outside in thirty-degree weather. Also, note the ribbons on the handle bars of the bike. Two deflated yellow and black balloons have now been added to the decorations. We're not allowed to remove anything.

Grace takes us on another ride. Last week with Grace was full of ups and downs. Monday started with a ruptured ear drum and Steve got a taste of my daily life as he had to take all four kids to her doctor appointment because I had a Crohn's checkup. Fun was had by all. NOT! She followed up that little episode with a fifteen minute seizure on Thursday that we had to treat with rectal Valium. YAY! Always fun to hold your seizing five year old and shove meds up her rear. She slept most of the day after that and woke on Friday with a bad fever. More fun! At least we can say Grace keeps life interesting. Hmm, maybe there's a correlation between the gritty reality of being Grace's mom and the reason I've started to write fantasy? Who knows.

That's right, Grace. Smile and wave. Smile and wave.

Caleb keeps on trucking. His speech has been really improving. Up until recently, Zach and I were the only ones who could understand him. Now about 2 or 3 other people can get what he's saying about 20 percent of the time! He's back to having a few melt downs, crying and temper tantrums and such (sort of like lions and tigers and bears, oh my!) but I think it's a reaction to a new family member, especially since she's older and Chinese. He still has a lot of fear about all things Chinese, and yesterday we went to a Chinese grocery store. Well, he was clinging onto me for dear life. Seriously, on a normal trip to Walmart he's running down the aisle with me yelling after him, "Caleb, come here!" but this time he was right next to me (or Steve) clutching my hand. While it was a little hard to walk with a four-year-old Chinese boy clinging to my leg, it was better than chasing him down the aisles of Walmart. Hmm, maybe I should shop there more often?

Don't let the smile fool you. Evil lurks beneath that cute exterior.

So this is what's been happening at casa de Knipper, and maybe now that things are approaching normal, (for us anyway) I'll be able to write more. Or maybe not, since it's taken me over an hour just to write this post! (It has been written in between teeth pulling, Chinese interpretation, downloading pictures and dressing a wiggling autistic girl.) AGGH.

Rich, I hope this lengthy post makes up for the withdrawal you've been experiencing and I'll do my best not to let it happen again!

The big news of the day

2009-03-10T16:35:00.002-04:00

Is that Sarah (yes, we're calling her Sarah now - her choice) starts school on Thursday! Gulp! I think I'm as nervous as she is. Nah, just kidding, I'm ready to do cartwheels at the thought of having everyone in school! Actually, the truth is probably somewhere in between. Isn't that always the case?

Today we went to Walmart and got her school supplies and I couldn't help being a little jealous. I loved that time of the year when school started again. Of course, I wasn't starting in the middle of the semester, not even speaking the language, but even so, I loved buying new pencils, notebooks, all of the stuff for school. She picked out all kinds of cute folders and pencils with sparkly erasers. So she's got all the stuff, now she just has to get through that first day. We visited the school on Monday and talked with the principal and director of the ESL program. They were both wonderful and I think she'll have a really good experience there once she gets past the nerves.

As for how she's adjusting, now that we're past the jet lag, I have to say she's doing a great job. The food is still difficult and she has nightmares at times, but overall, she's doing so much better than I thought. We've had a few times where she was testing the boundaries, but nothing more than I expected. Our biggest problem right now is the language and I think being in school, around kids her age, will really help motivate her to study. Right now I try to point out things and say the English word, sometimes she'll repeat it, sometimes she shrugs and walks off (in what must be the universal teen-speak for "I am so over you.")

So tomorrow is her last day of sleeping in late and watching Tom and Jerry all day. Stay tuned for the Thursday update!

Totally random thoughts

2009-02-27T15:11:00.002-05:00

Since I'm still in jet lag mode and half the things I say right now don't make sense, I thought I'd post some completely unconnected random thoughts about this adoption and anything else that pops into my head! You've been warned!

**Juhua gets motion sick. Even from a short 10 minute car ride on relatively straight roads. Don't know how we're going to manage this one as we're always going somewhere. Today I took Grace to speech, only 10 minutes away, and I didn't give Juhua her motion sickness medicine because it knocks her out. Well that was the wrong decision. She threw up as soon as we got to therapy & as soon as we got home. Hmm, guess it's time to research motion sickness. Throwing up on the school bus every morning won't work...

**I forgot how LOUD Caleb and Zach are when they get together. OMG! Pass the Tylenol someone. Thank God Juhua is a girl. I don't think I could handle the noise of another boy.

**There was a Thunder Storm last night and I had Juhua and Zach in bed with me. I got 0 sleep. Sigh, maybe tonight...someone pass the Ambien along with the Tylenol.

**Grace seems to have regressed some while we were gone. No ones fault, just a change in her surroundings. Lots of pinching and head banging going on (and not the kind I grew up with in the 80s.)

**As usual I brought some books to read while we were traveling and was disappointed in both. I'll post some random thoughts on that on my writing site a little later.

**We've figured out the phone cards so Juhua can call the SWI. YAY!! She was a very happy girl last night when she was able to call.

**Surprisingly, we're mostly unpacked. Last time we had suitcases in our front room for 3 weeks.

**So far, things are going better than I expected. We have some normal teenage moodiness--Steve HATES that! Yesterday she was crying and Steve got me. I believe his exact words were, "She's crying and stuff in there and I don't know what the h*#l to do." Ah, the power of estrogen to strike terror in a man's heart. Just wait till Gracie gets all hormonal...

**Next to the flight home after adopting Grace, the flight from Korea to Chicago was the worst one I've been on. Turbulence the whole way. I don't think the fasten seat belt light was off once. I dug little half-moon fingernail circles into my palms every time the plane shuddered or jolted.

**And finally, there truly is no place like home.

Home

2009-02-26T08:39:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update. We're home. Very jet lagged & Steve & I are sick, but we're safe and working on establishing a new normal, part of which involves unplugging Juhua from 24/7 technology!

I'll update with pictures a little later.

Leaving in 2.5 hours!!

2009-02-24T18:23:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note, we leave the hotel at 10:00 AM and our flight leaves for Seoul, Korea at 12:50 PM. We should be home at 11:16 PM Wednesday night, and we are more than ready!

And everything went well at the consulate. Juhua was a trooper even though she was scared. So we are officially cleared to bring her home!

Almost home

2009-02-23T09:02:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is our last full day and I think we're all ready for it or at least Steve, Zach and I are, I'm not so sure about Juhua. I expect lots of tears and some shutting down from her, but everything will be so much easier to deal with once we get on familiar ground. Guangzhou is great but home is better. Besides, I'm missing Grace and Caleb so much that I tear up every time I think of them. It's been especially rough because the phone cards we bought don't work and we've only been able to call home twice. Right now I just want to be home.

It's been a good trip, especially when I think of how hard it could have been. Both of our guides told us horror stories about families who adopted older kids. So I was braced for the worst, but Juhua has been wonderful. We've had typical teen behavior, grieving, and culture clashes (she only eats noodles, and I mean ONLY noodles) but nothing major. I think what has helped the most is that she's been able to stay in contact with her SWI friends. We really haven't placed any limits on the number of calls she makes to the orphanage and it's helped. In a way, it feels like a joint effort with the orphanage workers to get her to the U.S. I really don't think she could have been with people who loved her more. It's such a difference from the cold indifference we experienced with the workers at Grace's orphanage and even Caleb's. You could tell he was loved and taken care of, but it's not the same as Juhua's experience. The people at the orphanage were truly her family.

Tomorrow is the swearing in at the consulate and hopefully all will go well. Connie told us that a consulate official is going to take Juhua off for some "private questions" because she was abandoned at age 6. From what we understand, they want to make sure that she's not trying to "sneak" into the U.S. by being adopted. Makes no sense at all to us. Please say a prayer that all goes well and there aren't any snags. She calls the orphanage directory Baba, Mandarin for Daddy, and we don't want there to be any confusion.

Stephanie

Shades of Grace

2009-02-21T19:48:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we had the medical appointment. Now every time I go into this building it brings back memories of the horrible experience we had there with Grace so I'm always holding my breath, praying against bad news when we go in. Normally they take the adoptive parents to a separate room in the back where they do a very cursory medical exam. Of course with Grace nothing is ever easy so when we took her we were pounced on by 4 or 5 doctors who proceeded to tell us she was "retarded". Turns out they were right, but it's never the sort of thing you like to hear.

Fast forward to yesterday. We are in the same building, but this time it's teaming with people. We were packed like sardines. At the first station, one doctor measured Juhua's (Sarah's Chinese name) head and did an external exam. After a minute, she ran out of the room and grabbed another doctor. From experience, I knew there was only one doctor to a station so this was a bad development. The doctors were talking back and forth to each other and my stomach dropped. Steve and I looked at each other, and all I could think of was, "Oh no, not again." Adoption always holds surprises, and we've had our share of them. With Grace it was the autism, developmental delays, seizures, etc.. With Caleb it was extensive dental work (really, he has the price of a Hyundai in his mouth.)

So we grabbed Connie, our guide, and asked what the doctors were saying. She told us they thought she had a heart murmur and they wanted to do an ECG. We spent the past week together and I hadn't seen any signs of heart problems (no blue lips, no fatigue, no shortness of breath) but I was still nervous. So off we went to do the test. Juhua was nervous, I was nervous....They took her behind this blue curtain and in just a minute she was out again. "Everything is normal," Connie told us and I started to breathe again.

The only surprise we had was that she needs glasses which we already figured out by the way she sits 2 inches from whatever she's looking at.

I wouldn't trade Grace for the world, but I'm so glad that it doesn't look like we're dealing with any serious problems (unless you count her addiction to technology, seriously, I can't get the girl away from the television or computer, and she has her cell phone glued to her ear...ah, she's an American already.)

In the final stretch...

2009-02-20T18:00:00.002-05:00

We made it to Guangzhou!!!! Today we have the medical appointment then the rest of the day is free. We can't wait to eat lunch at Lucy' and visit some friends we met last time, Dong, Emmie...we're making a list of shops to stop by. Of course I'll have to buy something to promote international Good Will. Wouldn't want to offend anyone...

Sarah did a great job on the flight. It was her first and the take off was a little bumpy. She squeezed my hand and buried her head in my shoulder. After she called a bit, she fell asleep with her head in my lap. She was on one side, Zach on the other. All I needed was Caleb and Grace and then I would have felt like one of those mother lions with cubs piled all over them. (Not that I minded at all!)

We're at the Victory this time and the rooms are huge. We haven't tried the breakfast buffet yet, but so far I prefer it to the White Swan.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and comments. They keep us going.

Steve is now a Shaolin Master

2009-02-19T04:45:00.002-05:00

Today is our last full day in Zhengzhou and we went to a Shaolin Temple where we saw a kung fu demonstration. We were in the front row and when they asked for volunteers, guess who hopped up and went on stage? Of course, Steve. We were the only Westerners there and everyone thought he was a really good sport to get up there. (Little do they know that he didn't need much convincing!) Anyway, there were 3 audience members on stage and they were put through the paces! Steve had to do some kind of flying frog leap. It was hysterical, and I think we have our first indication of how Zach will act as a teenager. As soon as Steve got up there, Zach yelled out, "Bu ya, Daddy! Bu ya!" It means "Don't like!" Then he mumbled, "Oh, he's not going to be any good at this." Ah, the power we wield to embarass our kids! Meanwhile, Sarah thought it was great. She laughed and pointed the whole time. It was really a lot of fun.

This is our last full day in Zhengzhou and while I'm ready (more than ready) to leave, I hate to think of how hard this will be for Sarah tomorrow. It's going to be rough. Not to mention that's she's never been on a plane before and gets motion sick. And we found out that our flight has already been delayed 2 hours. That's right, it's not even the day of the trip and already we're running late. It'll be fun all around! Ah well, we'll survive.

I probably won't have a chance to post tomorrow because we'll get to Guangzhou around 10 PM, but oh, I'll be so glad to be there. Guangzhou is one of my favorite places in China.

Love to you all,
Stephanie

SWI visit

2009-02-18T04:06:00.002-05:00

Today we went to the SWI (orphanage) where Sarah spent the past 6 years. It's about 2 hours outside of Zhengzhou in an area that doesn't see many Westerners and let me tell you, we got plenty of stares when we stopped at a store to buy gifts for Sarah's friends. Zach and I were the only blonds in a sea of black hair. Everywhere we went people would stare and point. Not in a mean way, more like they just saw a unicorn or some other mythological creature step into China's version of K-mart! We'd walk by and mouths would drop open.

Anyway, we picked up some gifts and then drove to the SWI where Sarah proudly showed us around. It was a new building that they just moved into a month ago. Very clean and large, but still, not somewhere you'd imagine children living. There were several rooms with cribs jammed side by side and up against walls. Babies and toddlers filled the beds but didn't make a sound. We couldn't go into the rooms but could stand outside of windows and waive. It was all I could do not to break down in tears at the sight of so many kids without families. It is a great orphanage but there's only so much they can do. In a room full of 20 cribs there might be 3 workers.

And then there were the special needs kids. Kids like Grace who were well taken care of, but with little chance of getting a family. It was one of the hardest things I've ever seen.

After we took a tour, the staff made an enormous meal for us. Everything was wonderful and we had just started eating when someone else came into the room. It was Sarah's "older brother", a boy she was especially good friends with. He was 17 and had to be at school at 2:00 but had come to see Sarah before she left. He was so nice and you could see they really had a brother and sister relationship. He was working on his English and practiced with us while we were eating. If it was possible, I would have brought him home with us.

When we finished, we got into the van and drove to a spot on the side of the road where we pulled over so that Sarah could meet the Orphanage Director. They were especially close and he was so sad at her leaving that he couldn't eat lunch with us. Sarah huddled on the side of the road with the Director, several other ladies, and her "older brother". There was a lot of crying and hugging. As she got back in the van and we pulled away, she opened the window and stuck her head out, looking back at them until we couldn't see them any more. To say it was hard doesn't even do it justice. Please say a prayer that her heart is eased. I'm so glad she was loved but she's having a really hard time right now and I don't think she feels like she has anyone to turn to. She's not acting out, not even really crying a lot, but she's sitting on the bed with the covers over her head and every now and then I'll hear some sniffles. I know it's a path she just has to walk through, but it's really hard for her right now.

Pictures!

2009-02-16T19:51:00.001-05:00

I found a way to post pictures from the hotel computer.

Enjoy!

We have her!

2009-02-16T07:39:00.003-05:00

It's the end of a very, very long day, and I have to say, it couldn't have gone better. Sarah is absolutely wonderful. She and Zach have hit it off (of course-just add another member to Zach's Chinese fan club) and they giggle non-stop. In fact, when I left to come down to the business center they were in the middle of a pillow fight.

Gotcha was wonderful. She came straight to me and hugged me. There were tears all around! It was a chaotic mess with 5 families crowded into a 10x10 room and everyone was talking at once, but she was great. The only hard part (and it was extremely hard) was when we had to leave. The orphanage director and another woman were there with her and all three of them were crying. The orphanage director was an older man and when I saw the tears in his eyes I couldn't stop from crying myself. It's so hard taking her from people who obviously love her. I'm glad she was loved but it is so hard for everyone. It feels like the death of someone you love. Even though they'll be able to talk on the phone and email, it's just not the same. They sent her to us with a suitcase full of gifts (including a cell phone & I-pod!) and tonight we sat on the bed together and she pulled everything out and showed it all to us. She was very proud.

We're visiting the orphanage on Wednesday and I know that will be another hard day. She's a very brave girl.

Hopefully things will continue to go well. This has been the best transition we've had in 3 adoptions and I know there are bound to be some bumps up ahead, but we'll handle them when we get there. Right now I'm just glad to have her and I'm missing Caleb and Grace.

Thanks everyone for all of the good thoughts and prayers. Keep em coming, it's working!

Stephanie

Almost time...

2009-02-15T19:21:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update to say that we leave the hotel in 90 minutes to go meet Sarah. We're excited and nervous at the same time (well, I am, nothing much bothers Steve & Zach!)

I'll post more when we get back.

Stephanie

Gotcha day is tomorrow!

2009-02-15T06:44:00.003-05:00

Well, we made it to Zhengzhou in one piece. And are about to go to bed. Just wanted to do a quick post saying that tomorrow we meet Sarah! We meet her at 10 AM which I think is 9 PM on the 15th at home.

We're all doing well, Zach is back to celebrity status. I'll post more later (too tired now) but suffice it to say that China is going to his head! We went to the Temple of Heaven and he joined in with a group of local people who were dancing with flags. He was mobbed and loving it! Everywhere we go people rub his head or reach out and pick him up. He grins and says, "Ni hao!" and everyone laughs. Then people stop him and want to take their picture with him. I've lost count of the number of people who've asked him to pose for a picture. Now he sighs and half grins as if to say, "Come on, get it over with." I don't know what he'll do when we get home and it's back to anonimity.(sp? I'm too sleep deprived to spell correctly!)

Beijing was wonderful. I think we could have spent 2 weeks there and still we wouldn't have seen everything. I was particularly proud of myself yesterday. We went to the Great Wall and I took a chair lift to the top. Now, I'm white knuckled afraid of heights and we were at least 300 feet up in the air. Zach was wiggling around in the chair next to me asking me questions, "Why don't you like the chair. Are you afraid you'll crash?" To which I replied, "Stop talking and don't move! Mommy's scared." To his credit, he stopped talking (the first time on the entire trip!) and was still until we got to the top. We walked the wall for an hour and then took a tobagan ride down. It was a lot of fun despite my fear of heights! Also, on a "you know you're in China when" note, we were waiting at the bottom of the wall when right past us walks....(wait for it...) A CAMEL! That's right. A double humped camel! Not your everyday site!

Anyway, all in all it's been a great trip. I'll post tomorrow after we meet Sarah, but everyone please pray hard. It's going to be a rough transition for her 9(and us.)

Love you all,
Stephanie

P.S. - so much for a short post!

Gracie's Birthday and Winter at the Summer Palace

2009-02-12T03:17:00.002-05:00

Today we toured the Summer Palace and it was beautiful! I'll post pictures when we get home, but there's no way they will do it justice. I felt like I was back in time 600 years. It was so easy to image the place buseling with activity. Makes me long for a Pearl S. Buck novel right now!

We are all still fine, but jet lagged and my Crohn's is rearing its ugly head as usual. It will clear up with sleep but it's such a pain dealing with it. Anyway, enough complaining. On to the good stuff.

Now for the most important part of today's short post. It's Gracie's birthday!! She's five today and I can't believe I'm not there with her. I know that Mimi & Papaw will make it a great day for her, but it's tough being away from her on this day. Five is such a big birthday, one that I've looked forward to for so long. When we first got Grace and discovered all of her problems, I'd tell myself, "when she's five she'll talk (or walk, or feed herself, or be potty trained, etc.)" Now she is five, and she still has a looong way to go. Still not talking, potty training seems like the unreachable dream, and she's still not able to handle a fork by herself.

But, she's a hundred times better than she was last year. She understands me now, which is such a gift. She's going up and down stairs (not such a gift!) And my favorite of all, she goes around saying, "Mom, mom, mom, mom." I LOVE it! It's been a long, hard road with her. One that I never thought I'd be strong enough to make, but I'm so glad I did. Being Gracie's mom is hard work, but it's worth it.

We love you Gracie. Happy Birthday.

We're here!

2009-02-11T04:03:00.002-05:00

We are in Beijing (finally!) and have already been to Pizza Hut (nothing like immersing yourself in the local culture immediately!) We met Angela (our guide) and love her! She is a sweetheart.

Zach is snoozing in the room, despite our best efforts to keep him awake. And he's already started picking up girls again! He met a little girl (actually she's 7, so an older woman) from Korea on our flight from Cincinnati to Seoul. They hit it off despite the language barrier, and have exchanged email addresses. Apparently, we have a Cassanova on our hands.

Tomorrow we are off to see the Summer Palace and hopefully, being outside will help with the jet lag. We're all exhausted, but happy to be here and to finally see some of Beijing.

I'll try to write more tomorrow. I won't have any pictures until we get home since I'm doing all of my updating from the hotel business center.

Stephanie

Our Itinerary

2009-02-09T00:19:00.002-05:00

Well, the big day is tomorrow. We leave at 6:48 PM. I'm so glad we still have the morning to finish everything up (like her room! that's right, it's still not finished.) But we are packed and just have some odds and ends to do tomorrow. It's after midnight and I've been working all day so without further ado, here's our itinerary:

Leave Cincinnati on United 6476 at 6:48 PM
Arrive Chicago at 7:14 PM

Leave Chicago on Asiana Airlines flight 0235 at 1:00 AM (That'll be fun with Zach - NOT!)
Arrive Seoul, Korea at 6:00 AM Wednesday, February 11.

Leave Seoul, Korea on Asiana Airlines flight 0333 at 9:50 AM
Arrive Beijing, China at 10:55 AM

Transfer to Park Plaza Hotel where we will pass out from fatigue!!

We are in Beijing until February 15, then we fly to Zhengzhou, Henan to get Sarah. Gotcha day is February 16.

We are in Zhengzhou until February 20th, when we fly to Guangzhou to complete the paperwork. We stay in Guangzhou until February 25.

Please keep us in your prayers for safe travels and an easy transition for Sarah. Also, that Caleb & Grace aren't too scared. Caleb has already been sobbing, saying, "I miss you! I no happy." It's breaking my heart. This is the first time in three years that I've been away from Grace, and the first time in almost two years that I've been away from Caleb. It's going to be rough for all of us (maybe most of all for me!)

Finally!!

2009-02-04T17:15:00.002-05:00

It's here! We have our Consulate Appointment and we leave on Monday! That's right, less than a week from today! We got the news yesterday and I spent most of the day trying to arrange flights, hotels, tour guides, etc. All of that's taken care of now and all we have to do is get there. We leave Monday 2/9 night at 6:48 and return on 2/25 at 11:16 pm. I'll post more as we get closer but right now I've got so much to do and it's been a rough couple of days. So this post is just a short update.

But I do have to leave you with this story. I should have known something was up yesterday when we were getting ready to take Caleb to speech. I dropped Zach off at the neighbor's. I walked Zach to their door while Caleb waited in the running car. Well, when I got back, all of the car doors were locked and the car was running. With Caleb inside. Zach accidentally locked the door as he was getting out. Now, Caleb's four so you'd think he could get himself out of his car seat and unlock the door to let me in. No such luck.

To make a very long story short, 45 minutes later the police got there and unlocked the car. Caleb was fine and is now very impressed with police officers.

No CA yet

2009-01-29T09:47:00.002-05:00

Well, we don't have any confirmation of our Consulate Appointment yet because the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou is closed for the Chinese New Year. So, that means if we get the 2/23 date, we'll have just a little over a week to make travel arrangements. This is driving me crazy! I'm trying to be productive and get as much as possible finished (as in her room!), but we've been hit by a huge snowstorm here and the kids have been off school since Monday! I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy. As you can imagine, with the terrible three around, I'm not getting much done. Oh well, I suppose it can't be worse than Zach's birth. He arrived ten weeks early and we didn't have his room finished or any clothes or a pediatrician, really we didn't have anything, and it all worked out all right. I keep reminding myself this will work out also, but it's not really helping right now...

Karma, or whatever you call it

2009-01-20T14:13:00.004-05:00

So I knew this would happen. After my long winded, whiny post yesterday, we just got an email from our adoption agency & we have our Travel Approval!!! No dates yet. We're applying to the US consulate for our consulate date (CA) and hoping for the earliest one - 2/23. The CA is the last step in the adoption process, so if we get the 2/23 CA, we'd probably leave somewhere around 2/10. That gives us 3 weekends to get everything ready (wanna place bets on when I'll have a nervous breakdown?)

Stay tuned for breaking news...

Still waiting...

2009-01-19T09:22:00.004-05:00

Another week has passed and still no Travel Approval. I'm starting to get ancy. Steve and I were talking at lunch yesterday (or at least trying to talk around the boys' constant interruptions!) and we both feel like the wait for Sarah is not only longer, but harder. Not only do we have the normal worries about bringing a child into the family, but she knows we're coming and every day we wait, is another day she's waiting. It's extremely frustrating.

Also, there are little things we have to figure out. How do we tell her her new name? Will she even like it? Her Chinese name is JuHua (which I think is beautiful!) so maybe we'll stick with that for a while. It will really be up to her. Then there's school. Should we keep her home with us for a while, at least until she starts to adjust or start school as soon as possible? There are benefits both ways. And of course, my biggest worry, will she like us? We're not talking about a toddler or an infant here, she's twelve. She has her own ideas, own likes and dislikes, maybe we won't be the parents she hoped for (well, I'm sure we won't, no one lives up to someone else's imagination, but I'd sure like to come close.) I know parenting isn't a popularity contest, but liking the people you live with makes it so much easier! So much to think about.

You'll notice I haven't mentioned anything about language. That's on the list of worries of course, but not our biggest concern. It's an issue, but one that can be overcome. Having a child like Grace teaches you exactly how much of communication is non-verbal. We'll make due with the language.

My biggest hope is that when she's grown (and even before then) we will have the type of relationship I had with my mom. Growing up, I knew she was in my corner, no matter what. When I moved out and got married, we transitioned from Mother/daughter to friends and the bond just strengthened when I became a mother. We went to movies with each other that no one else wanted to see. We read the same books, even ones we were supposedly "to old" to like any more. We took care of the kids together. Went to our favorite garden stores every spring. She knew how devastated I was when Grace turned out to have so many problems. When Zach was born and I was on a respirator and couldn't talk, she was the only one who understood what I was trying to say. She knew how much I missed my dad. She loved my kids the same way I did, and understood how hard being a mother is. She was so excited about Sarah, and it hurts to know they will not meet in this world. Obviously, I miss my mom a lot.

Hopefully, this week we'll get our Travel Approval. Until then, it's just more anxiety, more waiting...

No new news...

2009-01-12T11:37:00.003-05:00

I am sooo glad last week is over! Between getting the kids settled in school, dealing with snow days & hour delays, plus all of the appointments, I thought I was going to loose my mind (any time your week involves a trip to the Dept. of Family Services, you know it's going to be a bad one!)

So everyone's in school & now it's my turn. My classes start up again tonight. I feel like a major slacker because I'm only taking one class this semester, but with bringing Sarah home and all of the adjustments there, I really didn't think I could handle more than one class. Guess we know who will be in summer school. That's right, me!

News on the China front is that we are still waiting. We got our visas on Friday so all we need now is the official okay from the Chinese government and we're all set to travel. Well, not really all set as we still have to get Sarah's room together, but hey, that's something we can whip up in a weekend, right? We did get started on it. We spent this entire weekend cleaning out closets and throwing away a TON of stuff. Since Sarah's room was our guest room, it had been a dumping ground for anything we didn't have a place for. I'm proud to say that after this weekend, we have most of her room cleared out and should be on to painting this weekend. We also cleaned out every other closet in the house except for the kids, which shouldn't take too long. Am I nesting? I'm guessing the answer is yes!

Hopefully we'll have our Travel Approval (TA) some time this week or next week and then we'll have some exact dates.

General craziness...

2009-01-07T14:22:00.003-05:00

Well, the kids are all back in school - YAY, sort of. Everyone's settling back into the school routine except me. While I am glad that at some point during the day I have at least an hour when the kids are all in school at the same time (yes, it really is only one hour), now that the holidays are over it means that life starts again. For me that means endless rounds of therapy for Grace & Caleb, school appointments, doctor's visits, homework for Zach...it goes on and on.

Here's this week's schedule:
Meet with Grace's home health care case manager,
Take Caleb to speech therapy,
Attend an ARC meeting to go over Grace's IEP (special ed. plan),
Take boys to swim lessons,
Schedule meeting with attorney to finalize Mom's estate
Go to Medicaide office to re-certify Grace's coverage (yes, she is still autistic, no, they haven't yet developed a miracle cure for developmental delays.)
Take Grace to Speech therapy (thanksfully she doesn't have Occ. Therapy this week)

And then of course there are the minor issues of work, getting myself ready to go back to school on Monday, and getting everything ready to travel to China sometime in the next month.

Yikes! It seemed so much more managable before I typed it all out. Maybe I should just delete this post...

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-01T15:18:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2009 is everyone's best year yet! Let's face it, with the economy in the tank for most of 2008, it can't be much worse.

I've looked over my last few posts and noticed that they were mostly about Caleb, so I wanted to update everyone on Zach & Grace.

Zach has been enjoying all of the gifts that Santa brought & hitting up everyone who walks through our door for a donation to Love Without Boundaries. Before Christmas, his class collected money for some needy families and he decided to keep on with the tradition. This was all on his own. So I told him about Love Without Boundaries and the charity work they do for China's orphans and he started collecting money to donate to them. So far I think he has $12. Pretty good for a 5 year old. And, yes, I'm so proud of my sweet little guy I could bust. He's also helping me with my novel. He thought up some names for the bad guys. After much thought, he came up with Meanie & Mrs. Meanie. Stay tuned to see if the names make it to the final version!

As for Grace, she's in a really good spot right now. Even though she still can't talk, she understands most of what we say and actually does what we tell her to about 50% of the time. For her, that's huge! I took her shopping with me today for a little Mommy & daughter time and she carried one of the bags for me (of course she had her hand stuck in the bag feeling the tissue paper the whole time, but hey, it's still progress), and she opened the car door with the key for me. We had a great time. She didn't pull anything off the racks or pinch anyone who walked past her (okay, she tried a few times but I was too fast for her!) You can just tell she wants to do more, but her just gets in the way.

I wish everyone a wonderful year and thanks for following along on our crazy journey!

Christmas Chaos!

2008-12-26T19:23:00.007-05:00

As expected, our Christmas was wonderful, chaotic, sad (without Mom), and most of all -- OVER!! YAY!

A good time was had by all, and the kids are already planning their lists for next year, although I'm not sure if Santa will be able to top himself. On Christmas Eve, Steve picked up my present. Two kittens! One boy and one girl. They are adorable in the psychotic way that kittens are, and by far, everyone's favorite gift. The boys follow them around everywhere and the poor kittens have taken to hiding under the coffee table, the beds, really anywhere the boys aren't!

Cute, aren't they?

Gracie enjoying her favorite present. A hideously fuzzy green chair. As you can see, she loves it!

The boys and their stockings.

Zach and his most requested gift. A bright orange stuffed Phoenix puppet. The thing goes everywhere with him!

Aftermath of the chaos!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and am wishing all of you, the best of years in 2009.

This year it's snowmen

2008-12-21T20:27:00.003-05:00

So last year, Caleb was terribly afraid of Santa Claus. I mean to the point where we'd see men with white beards in Walmart & he'd start screaming. We had several weeks of Santa Claus nightmares last year (only the way he says it, it's Na Cwaus) and have just now, an entire year later, settled down about the whole Santa thing.

I guess I can kind of understand. You're in China, minding your own business, then one day these crazy Americans bring you to a new home, new food, new people, and to top it all off, apparently once a year some fat man in a red suit is going to land on your roof and slide down the chimney. Then he's going to prowl around your house, eat all of your cookies and leave some presents. All while you're sleeping. Gotta say, I can understand where the kid's coming from.

Anyway, this year, thanks to a poorly timed viewing of Scooby Doo & the headless Snowman, Caleb is now terrified of snowmen. I wasn't home for the fated cartoon, but Steve tells men that said snowman takes his head off and throws it at people. So as you can guess, it's nightmares all around at the Knipper household. Sigh, I'm sure by now, Caleb is wishing he had stayed in China!

Oh the memories!

New Link

2008-12-18T16:06:00.001-05:00

Since I'm not the most faithful blogger, I figured, why not set up a new blog so that I'll have two I don't update. Makes sense in my head...

So, the new link on the right under Favorite Links called "Writing Life" will take you to my writing blog. It's about, yes, Writing. Mainly the fiction writing I do. There's even a link to one of my stories that was published online.

Anyway, check it out if for no other reason than to move the little counter at the bottom of the page out of double digits.

Caleb has a girlfriend, or two, or three...

2008-12-16T15:37:00.001-05:00

For a while now, Steve and I have known that of the boys, Caleb is going to be the problem when it comes to girls. He's just so cute & he knows it! Well, now we have proof. Apparently, Caleb has a girlfriend in pre-school. Actually, he has two & might have a third.

A few days ago, he came off the bus grinning and covering his face with his hands. I laughed and asked him what was going on. All I could get was, "Hannah, Lauren. Ask my teacher." Then the hands went back over the eyes and the giggling started.

Being an astute and watchful mom, I deduced that what we must have here are the first seeds of love. I asked him if he liked said Hannah & Lauren (by the way, the names are said together, quickly -- Hannahlauren, as if the two girls are one person) and he pulled his shirt up over his face. I took that as a yes. When I asked if they were nice, he said, "Yes." When I asked if they were pretty, he buried his face in the couch and said, "Ask my teacher." I also took that as a yes.

So, taking his own advice, I asked his teacher on Saturday (she runs the theraputic horse riding clinic where Grace takes lessons every Saturday). She was not aware of the Hannahlauren development, but laughed and said she'd send home the class scrapbook so we could see pictures.

The book came home in Caleb's backpack yesterday and we spent thirty-five minutes looking at Hannahlauren. Near the end, we started looking at another little girl, Madison. All I can say is, preschool girls, watch out! Caleb's apparently discovered girls.

It's been a long time...

2008-12-14T13:11:00.001-05:00

Since I've updated this blog. As most of you know, my mom died in April and honestly, it seems like everything has been so much harder since then. Especially now, as we get closer to the holidays. Anyway, every time I'd sit down to write, I just couldn't because I'd think of Mom and of how she was really the glue that helped hold my life together. She was always over here, helping with the kids and it's hard to write about my family without thinking about the enormous empty spot in all of our lives now that she's not here. Even with all of the kids & activity that goes on in our house (and there's a lot ), it just seems so lonely without her here.

Here she is, holding Zach when he was a baby. This is how I'll always remember her:

Even now, with happy news to share (I'll get to it in a minute), the first thing I think of is that she's not here to share it.

Well, my throat is closing and tears are threatening to spill, so before that happens, on to the good news. We finally got our LOA (Letter of Acceptance) for Sarah, which means that we will probably be in China some time in the next 6 weeks! YAY! All I can say is FINALLY. This adoption has taken soooo long. With Grace, it was 8 months start to finish. With Caleb, 10 months. With Sarah, looks like it will be 14 months. That's way too long for any child to wait.

But, one really good thing about this adoption, is that we've been able to write to her & I have a new picture to share. This is Sarah, eating the birthday cake we had delivered to her orphanage the day that she turned 12. Isn't she beautiful!!

Well, I promise to update more faithfully from now on, especially as we get closer to our departure date.

PA & Zach's birthday

2008-03-16T22:27:00.000-04:00

Well, first, we got our Pre-Approval for Sarah on Friday! I've been so worried about being approved this time because of China's rule change last year. So many good families have been turned down & with Crohn's I thought we might be one of them, but lucky for us we weren't! Now we just have to hurry up on the rest of the paperwork & got over there. This is always the hardest part.

But now that we are officially approved, we can start writing to Sarah & sending her stuff! I have to say, for anyone considering older child adoption it's just as exciting as our other two. And in some ways more. I talked with another family whose daughter was in the same SWI as Sarah (hi Meigan!). Anyway, their daughter Meigan called Sarah & told her we were coming! According to Meigan, Sarah was very excited about having a family. And I am so glad that she knows we are working hard to bring her home. I'm glad that she knows she has a family, even if we aren't there yet. We are all so excited to bring her home.

The other news is that Zach turned 5 on Wednesday and I'm in denial. I can still remember the first time I saw him. He was already 3 days old and in an isolet. They wheeled me up from ICU, still in my bed because I had just gotten off of the respirator and had over a foot of open incisions. I couldn't hold him--not because he couldn't be held--but because I wasn't strong enough to. I couldn't do anything more than stroke his back, but it was enough. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. So tiny, he fit in the palm of my hand. I was so, so sick but when I think of that moment, I don't remember being sick. I just remember the joy that poured out of my heart at finally meeting this little guy I had carried around with me for 6.5 months.

And now he's 5. A big boy. No longer that little baby I rocked to sleep every night. He will start kindergarten in the fall. It seems like such a big turning point in his life and I have to say, I'm not ready for it. I know they have to grow up, but shouldn't there be a way to stretch time? Some way to slow it down until we're ready? I know, I know, I'll never be ready.

3rd time's a charm...you'd think

2008-02-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, you'd think by the third adoption you'd have all of your paperwork together & ready to go before your first home study visit. Well, if you were thinking that about me, you'd be wrong! For Gracie and Caleb the paperwork was pretty easy. I had several copies of Birth Certificates, Marriage Licenses, etc. This time, I don't have anything so everything is running behind.

For example, I mailed our I-600A (that's the form that the US requires for an international adoption) to Louisville several weeks ago. Well, I got it back with a letter saying I forgot to include birth certificates & marriage license. I had the birth certificates but no marriage license. So I had to order a new copy which meant waiting another week before sending the form back to Louisville. So we've lost another week. Aggh. We've only started and it seems like forever.

Then there's Caleb's certificate of foreign birth. I'm trying to file for it but we've lost his passport (either that or he's hidden it somewhere, he likes to take things, especially things with pictures and hide them in the bathroom cabinets, under his bed, in his pillow case, well, you get the picture. So without the passport and his entry stamp, I have to call and find out if we can use his Certificate of Citizenship. Now you'd think that would be okay, it has his name, it's issued by the US gov. and it has a picture of him on it. But it wasn't good enough for the Social Security Office when we went there for his card. Sigh.

The good thing is that I have done this before and I do know that it will all work out. It's just so slow.

Things are looking up...well, sort of

2008-01-27T20:57:00.000-05:00

Well, things really are looking up from a Gracie stand point. She's starting to come out of her funk. Yay!! She's walking better & the drooling and scratching are a little better. Also, she's back to babbling again. Before all of this started she was starting to string sounds together to almost form words. But then this regression hit and she just got silent again. Well, she's starting to babble again, this morning she was walking around going, "mum, mum, mum, mum." She's probably just practicing her "mm" sound but I'm going to believe it's the start of saying Mommy!

The big thing we've got to work on with her now is keeping her finger out of her nose. She discovered it recently and apparently, it's a good place to just park your finger. Who knew? Only, of course with Grace, everything has to be a bit different. She not only sticks her finger up her nose past the middle knuckle, but she digs around until the bottom half of her face is covered in blood. That's right, she picks till she bleeds. Yuck! But that's my girl. Never content just to let peace exist for a while, always on to something else.

As for the boys, well, there's good and bad. The good is that Caleb went pee pee on the potty!!! Yay! Big celebration! If I could get him out of diapers then I'd just be down to Grace! He was so proud of himself. He was sitting on the little potty up in my bathroom & I had gone downstairs to get a new diaper. I was on the top stairs and could see right into our bedroom when here comes Caleb, hobbling along, pants down to his ankles yelling, "PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!!" Then he did this little hop, skip dance and promptly fell down on his tush. Since then he's been telling everyone he sees about the potty. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Maybe by summer Gracie will be the last one in diapers. What will I do with all my free time?

The only bad news of the day comes for Zach. Those of you who know him know that Zach has a habit of developing very strong attachments for the weirdest things. Recently it's been a starfish (yep, a real dead starfish) that he found out Hobby Lobby & convinced us to buy for him. He's been carrying this thing around for months. It sleeps next to him on his bed. He gives it little drinks of water. He prays for it at night. And one night we were up for hours trying to explain to a very distraught and tearful Zach why God didn't make all of his "guys" (the thousands of stuffed animals--and starfish--he has packed into his bed) alive when he prayed for them. Maybe we've had one to many reading of the Velveteen Rabbit.

Anyway, Steve and I went out last night (saw The Bucket List, it was excellent) and Mom watched the kids. So we got home and the kids were still up. Not unusual because when we go out we leave early so that we can be home in time to put them to bed. Well, this time Zach was crying when we came in the door. Apparently starfish had been left on the floor and Darby (our dog) snatched it up and ate all but one sad little starfish limb. Zach was beside himself. We had to save the afore mentioned severed starfish limb & then we spent this morning searching for a new starfish.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, a giant starfish doesn't sit well on a dog's stomach. This morning we came down to big puddles of partially digested starfish. Zach looked on while Steve cleaned it up yelling, "Is that my starfish?! Why did Darby eat my starfish?!"

Sigh, so now the kids are tucked in bed, the boys with their starfish, yes, Caleb has one now too, and Grace with her fingers, hopefully out of her nose.

Ramblings...

2008-01-22T14:32:00.000-05:00

Well, as you might have read in the last post, things have been a little rough here at Casa de Knipper. Grace has been in a major regression. And I mean Major. She's doing things she hasn't done in months -- stuffing her mouth again, her pinching and scratching is worse, more drooling, grinding her teeth, and collapsing to the ground whenever she doesn't want to go somewhere. She's had spells like this before but this is absolutely the longest it has lasted. The other day she followed me around the house head butting me. Now, it would be funny but Grace is a solid little thing. It hurts!!

I just hope she gets out of this phase before we go see her Developmental Doc. Every time we see the woman she lays something else on me. Last time, I thought we were going to have a really good visit. Grace was able to walk from the parking garage all the way to the office, and let me tell you, that's a big walk. Even Zach would have struggled with it. Ever other time we've had to bring the stroller, but Grace's walking had improved so much I didn't need it at all. So anyway, we get to the office and the nurse's go through the drill. Height. Weight. Head Circumference. Now Grace had just been in the ER the night before because she had a stomach virus and was dehydrated so she was a little reserved during this visit. So I tried playing with her to bring her around a bit -- bouncing her on my knee, swinging her upside down, really anything with fast, rough movement.

So the doctor comes in, frowns some at Grace and examines her. I told her how well Grace was doing with her walking and everything but it didn't really matter. Just as we were starting to leave, the doctor said we should start thinking about institutionalizing Grace. WHAT?! THE CHILD IS ONLY 3!!!

I left the office in a daze and sat in the car and cried. If we were going to do that we would have left her in China.

Anyway, her next visit with this doctor is coming up so I guess I'm a little worried about what bomb she's going to drop on me this time.

Oh well, among other things, we've started our home study for Sarah and are hoping to travel some time in the fall. Mom & I have even started shopping a little for her. It's weird because she's only a little smaller than I am!

The other news is that Steve has officially entered the race for Kentucky State Rep. Check out his site & blog if you are interested in politics.

Arrrgh!!

2008-01-07T13:21:00.000-05:00

Today is one of "those" days. You know, the kind where you wake up in a funk and everything is downhill from there. Nothing's really wrong. The weather is beautiful, about 55 degrees out--amazing for January, and the kids have been fine. Well, except for Grace. She has had several bad days in a row and it's starting to wear me down. She's not sick, hasn't had a seizure or anything like that. She's just being really, REALLY difficult. Collapsing to the ground when I need her to walk. Chewing on electrical cords. (Yes, you read that right, electrical cords. It's her new favorite activity. She crawls behind the furniture to find them--makes me CRAZY!) Scratching me, hitting me, biting me...you get the picture.

It's not unusual for her to go through spells like this. She'll have several really good days in a row and then this. I know it will pass, we've been through it before, but it always worries me about what I'm going to do when she's older and bigger than I am. How will I pick up a 90 lb kid who falls to the ground because she doesn't want to leave the toy room? And then the scratching and hitting will really hurt. Argh. Most days I try not to think about it, because there's nothing I can do now & deeeep down I know it will work out somehow, but somedays, like today, it just wears on you. Add that to tomorrow when I have to go to the Medicaid office to renew her coverage, uggh.

But then there are little things that help you keep going. Like last night. Grace has been giving kisses recently, but normally not to me. It's hard for her because she really doesn't like eye contact or having anyone that close to her face. But last night I leaned into her and held real still. She twitched and blinked and turned her head away. But I just stayed there, not moving. Slowly she leaned forward, puckered up and planted the briefest kiss on my lips. Then she pulled away, gave her happy scream and started flapping her hands and feet. It made me melt.

Twenty years ago...

2008-01-01T18:17:00.000-05:00

Steve & I went on our first date. It was 1988, the year of big spiral permed hair (for me, not Steve!) and the year I started dating my husband. We were seniors in high school and worked together at Van Leunen's (a little like K-Mart). As fate would have it, we were both working the register that day and Steve worked up the nerve to ask me out. Lucky for him I said yes!

So off we went after work to what would become our staple, dinner and a movie. Dinner was at Frisch's and the movie was "Fatal Attraction." Not exactly a great first date movie! But then again, we were both dating other people at the time...

Anyway, it must have worked because here we are, 20 years later. To celebrate, tonight we will have dinner (which Zach won't eat because it's pot roast), give the kids baths, followed by mopping up all the water they'll splash on the floor. Then put them to bed. Hopefully we'll finish up by 9:00 and then maybe we'll catch a movie on T.V. Hmmm, here we are, 20 years later, and it's still dinner and a movie, just with a little extra thrown in!

I can honestly say that 20 years ago this is not how I pictured life. My 17 year old self wanted the big job and the big house. Kids factored in there somewhere. But what I didn't know, what I never expected, is how much sweeter everything is now that we have 3 (soon 4) little people to share our lives with. I never dreamed I could love so much or work so hard. And thankfully, I have a man who knows what the the most important things in life are. And I'm sure the next time I'm looking at the faces of all those waiting children and find our 5th child, he'll be right there with me saying, "Let's go get them."

Introducing the newest Knipper...

2007-12-27T22:28:00.000-05:00

Sarah! That's right, we're doing it again! We've just started the process to bring Sarah home. She is Henan provence and we figure we'll have her home (hopefully) in the fall sometime. She's 11 and sounds very sweet. We are all very excited about bringing her home.

We hadn't planned to adopt again. In fact, we thought we were finished. We have three great kids and are very happy with our family. But something happened when we were in China adopting Caleb that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. Mom and I were in the elevator at the White Swan, and a woman and the older girl she was adopting were in there with us. The girl must have been around 10. She looked up at me and said, "Oh, you're very pretty." I smiled and thanked her then told her I thought she was beautiful. Her eyes filled with tears, she looked at the floor and said, "No, no I'm not." A few days later we saw them again at the swearing in. The girl was so scared, crying and crying. But so brave. Her mother talked to her. Her guided talked to her and the girl settled a bit.

I've thought of her often since coming home and thought that if we did adopt again, I would like to adopt an older girl. Well, I hadn't been on line for awhile due to computer problems but then a friend emailed me about some of the kids on our agencies waiting child list. And there she was. I called Steve in (thinking he would say No Way!) and showed him her picture. "Okay," he said. So here we are again! Life will certainly be different with a pre-teen in the house but different has worked for us so far!

In Zach's words, "I don't like that she's older than me, but she doesn't have a family. We need to do this." How did my four-year-old become so wise? I am so proud of him.

Really though, as it is almost impossible to know what will happen to this kids if they don't find a family and not act. As I said before, every child needs a home. And we are so lucky that that home is ours.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2007-12-26T10:53:00.000-05:00

We survived!! And I do mean survived. I came down with a stomach virus on Christmas eve that lasted all through Christmas day, so no turkey for me! On the bright side, instead of gaining weight over the holiday I actually lost 5 pounds! There's always a silver lining.

Anyway, on to the important stuff. The kids. After yesterday, Caleb has realized that Santa is actually a pretty good guy! I mean, who leaves all that stuff and you don't even have to talk to him? Pretty Cool.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas & that Santa brought you all peace and joy this year.

Caleb and Santa Claus

2007-12-23T23:08:00.000-05:00

Well, it's the big countdown to Christmas and all through the house, not a creature is sleeping, especially not Caleb. Why you ask? Because the child is terrified, and I mean terrified of Santa Claus. He's okay with the man in red when he's on T.V., in fact, I believe we have just finished our 50 bazillionth viewing of Rudolph and Caleb loooves Hermie the elf. And I mean loves with a Capital "L". We have a little stuffed Hermie doll and when you squeeze his hand he sings "Why am I such a misfit". Well Caleb loves the doll. He has a little dance with hand movements and everything to to song. And he has to sleep with the doll at night, which makes for interesting noises over the monitor. "Just fixing these dolls' teeth," comes across several times a night.

But Santa, he's another story. Near our house there's a street where every house is lit up. They have big arches of lights down the street, inflatable Santa's in the yards, and a real Santa handing out candy canes to the kids in the cars that drive past. Well, the other night I made the big mistake of driving the kids down the street. Everyone was fine, enjoying the lights until Santa showed up. I pointed him out and everyone was getting excited until I rolled down the window for Santa to give us the candy canes. Well, Caleb had his head turned looking at another house and when he turned back, there was Santa, leaning in the window to give him a candy cane. He screamed. And screamed. And screamed. Santa handed me the candy canes instead. Maybe he felt sorry for me. Maybe I've just been extra good this year!

Anyway, we got home, calmed Caleb down and got ready for bed but he just couldn't get that Jolly Old Elf out of his mind. Over the monitor I heard, "Ana Cwaws, Ana Cwaws!" And the crying started again.

And it's been like that for the past four nights! Next year, remind me to avoid Santa at all costs! Or maybe find someone dressed up like Hermie the Elf so that Caleb doesn't want to have anything to do with that doll and "Why am I such a misfit?" won't keep us awake at night!

Why we adopt

2007-12-21T20:36:00.000-05:00

So many times people ask us why we adopt special needs kids. Most of the time the person asking really is curious. Sometimes they're not. Sometimes it's like they're saying, "Why in the world would you want to do that?!" But mostly, people really just want to know why.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the answer to that question. In the beginning we decided on special needs adoption because of my Crohn's disease. We knew our way around doctors and hospitals so having a child with physical needs didn't really scare us. Then of course there was Grace. And she taught us that no matter how big the need is, somehow, you manage and it becomes not such a big deal. But yesterday, I found the true answer to that question.

Yesterday, a little boy named Abraham died before his family found him. He was on CHI's special needs list and he had been waiting for months for a family to find him. Yesterday, when he died, there was no family to notify. No mother or father to mourn for him. No Mommy to hold him one last time. No Daddy to give him one last kiss on the cheek.

No child should have to spend their life waiting, and not finding, a family.

That's why we adopt.

Two years ago

2007-12-12T16:51:00.000-05:00

We met Grace. I can't believe she's been with us for 2 years. Where did the time go? In honor of her Gotcha day, I'm posting the one picture I have saved from our computer crash from her Gotcha day. She was one sick little girl. Boy, has she changed! And somewhere along the way, she changed us as well. She changed us from people who never thought we could handle needs like hers to people who take it in stride.

Thank you Gracie for making me the person I've always wanted to be.

Stephanie

Christmas trees and Gotcha days

2007-12-08T22:34:00.001-05:00

Well we finally put up our Christmas tree. All of the ornaments are concentrated in on spot on the front but it's up and the kids all helped. Even Grace (with a little help from Mommy!) I've been a little worried about putting it up this year. Grace is so much more mobile than she was last year. I have visions of her pulling it down on top of her. But so far, she hasn't been that bad. She's grabbed at it a few times but nothing too bad yet.

After we put the tree up we went out to our favorite Chinese restaurant to celebrate Gracie's gotcha day. On December 12th she will have been with us for 2 years. It's hard to believe that it's been that long. In some ways it seems like she's been with us forever and sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were meeting her. The road has been long and hard but it's been so worth it. Two years ago she was a little girl without a family. She couldn't hold her head up. She couldn't walk. Didn't want to be held. She didn't smile, didn't laugh. She was a little girl locked in her own little world. But gradually, she is waking up. She smiles freely and gives the world's best hugs. I can't imagine my life without her. We are so blessed to share our lives with this little girl. She is not perfect in the world's definition of the word, but she is in ours.

Gracie, we love you. More than you can ever know. I wish so many things for you still. I hope that one day you will talk with us. That one day I'll be able to tell you I love you and have you understand. I want you to know that there hasn't been a day that you weren't wanted and loved. You are perfect just the way you are. I love your laugh, the way you rest your head on my shoulder and tap my back when I hold you. You have made me a better person. I am forever grateful to you for that. My one wish is that more families would take a chance on a child like you. That they would know they could do it. They are strong enough. Yes, our lives are different in ways we didn't expect. We don't think of colleges for you, we think of group homes. We don't dream of you graduating from college, we dream of hearing your first words. And I'm constantly worried about keeping you safe. From little things like pulling the Christmas tree over on yourself, to big things, like people taking advantage of you when you're older. But Grace, it's worth it. It is so worth it.

If you are considering adoption, please look at some of the special needs children through Children's House International (there's a link on this blog.) There are so many children waiting for a family who will love them no matter what and what better gift can you give a child than a home for the holidays?

Stephanie

Zach's proposal

2007-12-05T21:43:00.000-05:00

This is why I love having boys. After dinner Zach came up to me and said, "Will you come sit with me on the couch?" Of course I couldn't resist that so I went over, spread a cover over him and sat next to him while he rested his head on my shoulder (my favorite part about being a mom!)

After a minute he looked up at me and said, "Why don't we get married?"

"Sure," I said with a smile.

He gave me a little kiss and then followed up with, "Why don't we go out and get each other a surprise since we're getting married."

"Okay," I said. "What kind of surprise do you want?"

He thought for a moment. "A big super marbalous. Where you can put the marble in over here and it zooms over there."

I just laughed. This has to beat Steve's proposal!

After a minute he said, "What do you want?"

"I've already got what I want. Just spending some time with you."

Times like this are what I love about being a mom.

Stephanie

Catching up

2007-12-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been way way too long since I've posted. We've had 2 computer crashes, both our home computer and my work lap top crashed and I lost a lot of pictures (unfortunately, all of the pictures from our first trip to China when we adopted Grace - aggh I could scream). Anyway, now everything is back up and working and the kids are settling down into a routine, at least what passes for a routine at our house! So I'm back to blogging.
Finally, everyone seems to have found their place. I know from my last post things sounded dismal here & it was at the time, but now we've just passed our first six month with Caleb & aside from the sibling squabbles between the boys, we've all adjusted well. No more struggles with bed times. Everyone goes to sleep in their own bed & mostly sleeps through the night. It is wonderful!
Caleb fits in perfectly with our family. It's like he's always been here. We had his birthday party in October and he was thrilled to be the center of attention. We definitely have 2 hams in the family (3 if you count Steve!)
All of the kids are in preschool and Gracie is riding the bus! I can't believe it, she's such a big girl now.
Zach is having a great school year. Last year was so hard for him, it's great to see him going to school without all of the separation anxiety he had last year.
Well, enough writing. How 'bout some pictures?

Rocky Roads..

2007-06-28T08:20:00.000-04:00

This is officially my gripe post! I'm outnumbered by kids who are driving me crazy!! As you can see I haven't updated the blog in a while. That's because all of my time is spent refereeing between Zach and Caleb. They do NOT get along at all. It's 8:30 in the morning and already I've had to take away toys, give time outs and separate them more times than I can count. Right now Caleb is face down on the floor screaming (again) because I took a toy away. This kid screams more than anyone I've ever met. Zach stands next to him. He screams. Zach looks at him. He screams. I walk from the family room to the kitchen. You guessed it, he screams. Not just once or twice, but face on the floor, top of his lungs, ear piercing wails. I'm about ready to pull my hair out.

Of course, Zach isn't much better. He spends his days deliberately getting in Caleb's face and doing things he knows will set Caleb off. Then of course he turns to me and says, "I'm not doing anything." Even though I just saw him run up to Caleb and take his ball, jump rope, car, whatever. Sigh. Why did I think this was a good idea? I know in six months everything will be better but boy, time sure crawls when you're surrounded by screaming kids. It's pretty bad when the autistic child is the best behaved.

We were scheduled to meet some adoption friends in Lexington in two weeks but we've had to cancel that. I just don't think Caleb is up to it. Plus Steve is putting in a lot of time at work. The past several nights he didn't get home until just before their bedtime. So I think the bottom line is I need a kid free zone! Or at least some kid free time...even thirty minutes...

It will get better...It will get better...

Stephanie

One month tomorrow

2007-06-15T22:06:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow it will be one month since we met Caleb. In some ways it seems like he's been here forever (especially when he's screaming!) In other ways, it seems like just yesterday. I know we'll spend the rest of our lives feeling that way. I look back to March of 2003, when Zach was born, and then I look at this tall four-year-old and wonder where the time went.

Things are still going well, if not smoothly. Everyone is adjusting to each other. There's lots of screaming & crying going on! Seems like every time I turn around Zach is hitting Caleb, Caleb is biting Grace & Grace is pinching everyone! Arrg! It seems like the only time they aren't screaming is when they're sleeping or outside. Most of the day I just want to give myself a time out so that I can sit somewhere quiet!

Other than that, the only real issue we're having is sleep. Caleb is terrified to be without one of us at night. It's normal but hard. We have a mattress on the floor of the boys' room and Steve (bless him) has been sleeping in there with him. I did it the first few nights but my Crohn's has been acting up since we got home and going without sleep makes it worse. Luckily, Steve can sleep through anything! But the good thing is, there haven't been any more 2 am Walmart trips so things must be looking up!

Stephanie

Finally Pictures!

2007-06-02T23:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, so the sleeping didn't go so well after all. As I posted last time, we had everyone in bed and sleeping by 9:30 and thought we were in the clear. Alas, not to be. At 11:00 Caleb started screaming so I went in and slept with him until 2:00 when everyone was up for the day. That's right, 2 am with 3 kids under 5. What a party! So what did we do? What any American family does at 2 am when everyone's wide awake, we went to Walmart.

It's getting a little better but nights are still really hard for Caleb. He gets really scared (and who can blame him? Everyone he's ever loved has disappeared on him) so I've been sleeping in the boy's room and let me tell you, squeezing into a tiny bunk bed with a guard rail is not fun!

Bottom line is, we're all sleep deprived and grouchy. I'll be so glad when everyone's on U.S. time.

Anyway, what everyone's waiting for, pictures!

Stephanie

We're Home!!

2007-05-31T21:41:00.000-04:00

And amazingly, all three kids are asleep in their own rooms! Yay!! Now time for Steve and I to sit down and unwide with a Coke and ICE!! It's the little things we missed. I'll post more later and pictures tomorrow.

Stephanie

BTW - I didn't have time to post after our Consulate appointment but Steve, Caleb & I were interviewed by CNN. They were there filming the swearing in ceremony & interviewed us. I have no idea when/if it will air or if it will be here or in China but hey, we're celebrities now!

Two more days!

2007-05-29T04:49:00.000-04:00

Well, I tried to post before and somehow my post disappeared. Hmm, maybe the problem is that everything is in Mandarin except what I'm writing. Who knows where I sent that last message.

Anyway, I only have 3 minutes left in the business center here so I'll have to be brief. We leave Thursday morning at 8:20 and couldn't be happier! All I want is a little more space and no more squatty potties!!! Claire had her first experience with one the other day and let me just say, it made an impression. Having Zach with us, of course we have seen every squatty potty in Guangzhou. Even some down dark alleys and up rickety stairs. But when you gotta go, you gotta go. Especially when you are four.

The kids are still doing well but tempers are flaring. Zach is antagonizing Caleb, Caleb is biting Zach and Grace is scratching and pinching everyone in reach, including Chinese ladies who make the mistake of turning their backsides to her. She pinches and they whip around to glare at Steve! By then Grace is back to looking angelic so no one suspects her!

My time's up so looking forward to seeing you all! And I hope this goes through.

Stephanie

Only two days left

2007-05-29T04:40:00.000-04:00

And we leave! I don't think I've ever been so ready to leave somewhere in my life. Not because it's been a bad trip, but it's just been so long. Plus three kids and two adults in one small hotel room is just a recipe for disaster. I'm going to hide my eyes when they give us the final bill for the hotel. I know we've already got Crayola decorated sheets and a broken glass on there. Then there's the twice daily room cleaning. As the housekeeping staff put it, "You need vacuming two times a day!" It took a staff of three over an hour to clean it yesterday. They will be so glad when we are gone!

Caleb continues to adust well except for the biting and the temper tantrums. We don't think he's ever been told "no" before. He has a complete meltdown any time we take something away or tell him no. It's getting better so I'm not worried about it but it is wearing thin quickly. In fact, I think all of the kids will settle down once we get home. Zach is acting up, I think jealousy is the problem, and Gracie's schedule is so thrown off she doesn't know what to do.

We leave Thursday morning so this might be the last post from China. Our flight leaves at 8:20 am and we leave the hotel at 5:30 am. Fun! Oh well, at least we'll be home that much faster.

Stephanie

And the biting continues...

2007-05-27T03:30:00.000-04:00

As you might have guessed from the title, Caleb is a biter. And not little nips here and there, big, jaw clenching, bruise leaving bites. He got Zach twice, once on the arm and once on the stomach. Poor Zach, he has half dollar size bruises. It looks so painful.

Today we were trying to sort out some money issues with our guide (they didn't give us the right price before we left so when I wired them the money it didn't include Mom & Claire) and the boys were running around the lobby of the White Swan. Now this is a very nice hotel. The kind that if it were a restaraunt, and not the place that almost every American stays when they adopt, would have on its menu - "Well behaved children are welcome." As you can imagine, one blond headed American boy and one dark headed Chinese boy running through the lobby screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs was getting us quite a few dirty looks. Eventually, I felt I had to intervene and tried to pull Caleb back over to us.

That's when he tried to get me.

The minute I reached for him, the screaming began and the mouth opened. Little did he know I've had 18 months with Grace, Queen Biter. He might bight harder but he doesn't bite faster. I grabbed his hands and stretched them out so that he couldn't lean into me and said, "No biting!" Of course his mouth was still open and he was straining with everything he had to chomp down on any piece of me he could get, but I escaped this time. But he didn't give up easily. Since he couldn't bite me, he settled for hitting and kicking. But at least I don't have any little teeth marks anywhere!

We went to the Six Banyan Trees Temple today and even in the rain it was beautiful. Steve, Zach & Claire climbed to the top of a seventeen story pagoda. I made it to the fourth floor but as you have to inch around this tiny balcony that's on the outside of the pagoda and I hate heights, I gave up and climbed down praying that I wouldn't topple over the very thin rail and splat on the concrete below.

Everyone is still well but Grace had a fever this morning. We only have one more official day and that's Tuesday at the US consulate. Then, as long as we can get a cash advance from our credit card to pay the rest of the fees we can leave. If not, they might hold us hostage and put us to work!

Love to all,
Stephanie

Gracie's Midnight Song

2007-05-25T04:25:00.000-04:00

That's what Zach calls it when she wakes up between 2:30 & 3:00 everymorning screaming. We thought we had that little issue ironed out when she slept until 6:00 for the past two nights. Not so. Last night she woke up screaming at 3:45 and we couldn't get her to go back to sleep so Steve walked her up and down the halls of the White Swan where she sang and laughed until the breakfast buffet opened at 6:00. Well, it was quite an experience. Those of you who have dined with Gracie know that there needs to be at least a three foot radius of clear space around her. Anything that enters the space either goes in her mouth or on the floor.

Anyway, they were seated and Steve told the attendant not to put anything in front of Grace. Somehow Grace ended up with a glass of orange juice right in front of her and of course, it ended up on the floor, shattering the glass and splattering orange juice everywhere. After this, all of the waitresses mobbed Steve, demanding to know "Where baby's Mama?" I was up in the room with the boys, blissfully unaware of the chaos in the dining room.

Well, they moved them to another table, right next to some Asian business men in nice suits with their laptops and papers out. Steve, knowing Grace as he does, asked to be moved but the waitress said no, he was fine there. So they sit and not more than two minutes later, Grace grabs her bowl of cheerios and flings it over her left shoulder, onto the Chinese man behind her. He was soaked. Milk and cheerios from his head to his toes.

Again, Steve was cornered by women demanding to know, "Where Baby's Mama?!" Then they strongly "encouraged" him to come back later with Mama. Steve said no, they would eat then and finished the meal. Poor guy! Traveling with 3 young kids, one of them autistic, is nothing if not exciting!

Everyone else is doing well, if tired. And we are all ready to come home. Caleb is thawing toward me and even cried this morning when I left to get some food. Having me be his primary caregiver is really working. Even with the difficulty in bonding, we feel like we've hit the Kid Lottery. He is such a character! Mom bought the boys matching shades and you would think they own the streets of Guangzhou! He waives and grins as we walk past people! Such a little ham. He's fitting right in.

We're stuck in the hotel right now because it's raining now. So I'm off to take the kids to the play room to run off some steam.

Love you all,
Stephanie

One more week!

2007-05-24T02:37:00.000-04:00

And boy, will we be glad to be home. Other than the bonding issues with Caleb, which are slowly sorting themselves out, this has been a much better trip than last time. We've been able to see a lot of China, even took the kids to a amusement park where Zach played in such places as "Fruit & Vegetable Land", and "Phrase Land". We even got Gracie on a ride with him & she seemed to enjoy it also.

Even so, we're ready to go home. Two adults & three kids in a room that's about the size of our bathroom is a little tight! Plus it's very difficult to bond with Caleb when we're always going somewhere. I'll be so glad to be home & in a routine.

As I said, things are getting a little better with Caleb. I'm trying to do the caregiving activities -- holding him, soothing him, feeding, changing, etc. And he's beginning to loosen up a bit around me. It's really tough for him since he's lost every mother figure he's ever had. Of course he thinks I'll leave too. I'm just really trying to sort some of it out here because we get home on the 31st & Steve goes back to work on the 4th. Then it's just me and the Terrific Three. It will be much easier if Caleb accepts me then. Oh well, it just takes time.

We will be so glad to see everyone!

Stephanie

BTW - Zach is engaged. One of the vendors has decided that she is his finance. We can't walk more than two feet with him without being mobbed! I think all of the fame is going to his head!

Medical Exam Today

2007-05-23T01:50:00.000-04:00

Today is the medical exam and I can't help thinking back to eighteen months ago when we had Gracie's medical exam. Such a hard experience. There we were, surrounded by 3 Chinese doctors being told our daughter was retarded. Turned out they were right, but we didn't care. She's ours and always will be. This whole trip has brought back memories of our time here with Grace, both good and bad. I'm so thankful though that we have her. We met a couple here who were originally given a child with cerebral palsy. They didn't feel they could handle the need and gave her back and got another child. I understand their fear, heck, we lived it, but I can't stop thinking of that little girl who had a chance for a family and it just slipped away from her. Everyone deserves a family who loves them no matter what. I just wish people knew they are strong enough handle situations like that even if it seems they aren't. Sigh.

Well, I'm sure Caleb's exam will be fine. It's in 2 hours and I'll tell you what, there's nothing wrong with this little guy other than a quick temper! This is one child in need of some boundaries!

Love to you all and we'll see you soon!
Stephanie

Cloud Mountain

2007-05-21T07:01:00.000-04:00

Today we went to the Cloud Mountain. It was this beautiful mountain surrounded by gardens with sunflowers everywhere. It would have been perfect except that it started raining really hard so we all got soaked. Oh well, it was still really neat. We're getting to see so much more of China this time -- since we can actually leave our room. We went the the Toy Market a few days ago and as we were waiting for a taxi (again in the rain) an old man street vendor came up to me and pointed at all the kids, asking if they were mine. I motioned to all three of them and then to me, and said they were, he smiled and then went and brought his grandson over for us to see. It was really touching to see how proud he was of his little grandson. Zach of course was a big hit again.

Everything is still going well except that Zach and Steve are sick. Good thing we have antibiotics this time! Caleb is starting to come around to me a bit more but still really prefers everyone else to me. At least he's letting me feed him now, although he did try to bite me this morning. Hmm, maybe he's already learning from his big sister?

Stephanie

A few stumbling blocks

2007-05-20T05:37:00.000-04:00

Well, we've had a few stumbling blocks. Nothing big. Everyone is still doing well but whereas in the beginning Caleb really took to me, now he doesn't want much to do with me. It's normal but it's hard on me. He such a great little guy and it hurts so much when he pushes me away. Yesterday he cried at the site of me and went to everyone except me. He'd turn his head away from me and scream if I held him. It really just broke my heart. But as I said, it's normal and expected.

Today was better as he let me hold him and feed him. And last night, after such a hard day, I was in the room alone with Caleb and Grace and he let me kiss him then he'd point to Grace & I'd kiss her. It was really cute. After that, he seemed to feel more comfortable with me. It'll just take time. It's still so much easier than it was with Grace.

Speaking of Grace, we saw our guide, Daniel, from when we adopted Grace. He remembered us because of all the trouble we had. He was such a great guy we were so happy to have the chance to talk to him again and thank him for all of his help when things were so hard with Grace.

Everyone else is fine. Zach has become a local celebrity. We went to the electronics market today and a crowd surrounded him everywhere he went. The salesgirls were making origami (sp?) planes, flowers, everything for him. As we left, he turned to me and said, "I like playing girlfriend!" All of the girls fuss over him everywhere we go. Yesterday he took to saying, "Ladies, ladies. Calm down." I'm sure you can just picture it! As for how all of the kids are getting along, actually it's better than expected. Caleb looooves Zach and gets a kick out of Grace. Zach and Caleb nap together in one bed and it's the cutest thing you've ever seen. Of course, they squabble, but not too bad yet. All in all, it's pretty good.

Still, we'll be so happy to get home. Grace hasn't adjusted to the time and wakes up every night at 2:30 in the morning. So we are all tired.

Well, we're off to dinner. I won't be able to post pictures until we get home, but we've got a lot!

Stephanie

Day 2

2007-05-17T05:55:00.000-04:00

And all is well. He's still a sweetheart and still just picking up on everything. He definitely has his own ideas about things. He picks out his own clothes, feeds himself and cleans up after himself. He's just a great little guy. We're getting some tears right now so I've got to be brief but just wanted to let everyone know things are still going well.

Stephanie

WE HAVE HIM!!

2007-05-16T06:27:00.000-04:00

Well, we have him & he's great!! He is sooo smart! No delays at all! There were a few tears in the beginning but then we broke out the bubbles & stickers and rice crispy treats and he was sold. That is until he tried to put a sticker on Grace and she bit him. Welcome to the family! He's already learned several words and we've only had him for 3 hours. He's said - mirror, more, baba (mandarin for daddy), bye bye, cars, & more that I can't remember. He has a great personality. Smiles and a great sense of humor. He will be a great fit for our family. We are sooo glad & relieved. After Grace, we were really scared but this kid is smart as a whip. We all love him already. And the best thing is that having Zach & Grace here has really helped.

It has been a wonderful transition so far. Of course we expect some bumps in the road. He has a little cold but they've already put him on antibiotics. It's not a big deal at all. We all just love him already.

Thank you all so much for all of the prayers. They have made a HUGE difference. We just have to thank God for such a blessing.

I can't wait until you all meet him. He is wonderful.

Love you all,
Stephanie

P.S. - Terri, Claire is doing a great job! She is a great kid. You should be so proud of her.

3 1/2 hours to go...

2007-05-15T22:38:00.000-04:00

We don't have him yet but soon! We finally called got in touch with our guide and she will be at our room at 1:00 pm China time. We get Caleb at 2:00. We are all tired, nervous, excited...everything you can imagine. All is well. We got some rest yesterday but Grace is still on US time and not sleeping yet. So hopefully that will work itself out tonight.

Thanks for all of the comments! We love hearing from you all. I'll update again after we have Caleb!

Stephanie

BTW - One of my stories was published on Mother's Day. If you want to read it it's at www.literarymama.com and it's called Hearing is Believing.

We're Here!!

2007-05-14T21:36:00.000-04:00

Well, tried to post this once already and it didn't go through so here we go again. We made it to the hotel late last night after one cancelled flight and a missing guide. We flagged down a taxi and made it to our hotel. We checked in around 1:00 am.

We're all tired but good. Today we'll just take it easy because tomorrow we get Caleb! I'll post an update tomorrow evening.

Stephanie

Zach & Grace's last few days as a twosome

2007-05-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

Here are the kids enjoying some much needed down time this week. Wonder how Caleb will fit in here? Hope he likes tickles and giggles!

Stephanie

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

2007-05-11T22:45:00.000-04:00

Well, not yet, but close. Our flight leaves on Sunday at 12:16 pm and we arrive in Guangzhou at 10:45 pm on Monday. Then we have a day of rest on Tuesday and get Caleb at 2:00 on Wednesday! Seems like these past two weeks have flown by!

The good news is that Mom and Claire both have their passports and visas! They got them yesterday morning so everyone is good to go!

We'll be updating everyone through the blog while we're in China but won't be able to post any pictures. We'll be using the hotel business center instead of our own computer so I can't download any pictures.

Stephanie

Almost time to go...

2007-05-08T22:35:00.000-04:00

Well, we leave in 5 days and I'm scared. Terrified actually. I keep thinking of our experience with Grace and I'm so afraid of the same thing happening with Caleb. The past year and a half with her has been many things, but easy isn't one of them. She has brought so much to our lives and honestly, I'm a better person for having her in my life, but I really don't want to do it again! I know we're all worried about it, even Zach, yesterday he asked if Caleb would be "artistic" -- his word for autistic. All I could think was, boy, I hope not.

I know God will give us the strength to deal with whatever comes our way, but I just keep thinking, "Please, let this one be easy!"

Stephanie

New Pictures of Caleb!

2007-05-07T16:03:00.000-04:00

We just got some new pictures of Caleb! He's such a cutie, I can't believe we'll be in China in a week!

Passports for everyone!!!

2007-05-05T20:11:00.000-04:00

They're all here! Claire got her passport today & we sent it off for a visa. What a relief. We were down to the wire here. It has been so stressful trying to get the passports and visas at the last minute. We really needed someone with us since we will be there longer this time and have Zach and Grace. My Crohn's flared the day after we got Grace last time and Steve and I were both having nightmares of me sick with a Crohn's flare and Steve with all three kids. But thanks to Mom and Claire, even if I do get sick, we have backup.

Have I mentioned that family is wonderful and ours is the best? Really, we couldn't be doing all of this without our families. Every time we've needed help, they've been there. And let me tell you, we've needed a lot of help! Between all of my surgeries (four in the past four years) and Gracie's doctor's & therapists, it's been really rough. So thank you everyone for your help & prayers! Now send up some prayers for safe travel and a good transition for Caleb.

Stephanie

One down, one to go!!

2007-05-04T17:28:00.000-04:00

We got my mom's passport today!!!! It came this morning so we rushed around and pulled everything together for the visa and sent that off to the courier today. With luck we'll have her passport back with the visa by Thursday.

I talked to my sister-in-law last night and Claire's passport is finished & we should have it either today or tomorrow. Yay!! Then we'll send it off for the visa and hopefully everyone will be ready, passport & visa in hand, by Friday. Boy are we cutting it close!

Keep the prayers coming. We still have a lot to do. Tomorrow we will paint the boys' room & start packing. I can't believe we leave in a little over a week, but this is always how it is in adoption. A lot of waiting in the beginning and then, rush, rush, rush at the end. Having done this before you'd think I'd learn and be a little more organized. Oh well, maybe next time...or not! Three's enough, especially with Grace. She counts for two!

Stephanie

Good day for Grace

2007-05-02T17:12:00.000-04:00

This morning was a rough morning for Grace, and therefore, for the rest of us. Last week she had a reaction to her seizure medication -- stuff coming out of both ends (trust me, you don't want details) and hives from head to toe. Poor thing. She was miserable. Well, after two trips to the dr (between trying finish painting the boys' room, packing...etc.) they finally decided to switch her meds. Well, she's been a bear since then. Crying, scratching, pinching & hitting anyone who crosses her path. This morning was more of the same. She fell asleep for a bit then I took her to school.

I was anticipating another bad day at school -- yesterday was bad -- but when I went to pick her up, here she comes, walking down the hall and when she sees me she starts flapping her hands and squealing with a big smile across her face. It's the first time she's been obviously happy to see me when I picked her up. And one of the few times she's actually walked down the hall. Normally she flings herself on the ground. I picked her up and tickled her and she laughed some more. Her teacher told me that she had a good day and is making friends with another little girl in her class. It's a structured learning class for autistic children so it's big for both girls. They sit together on a bench and look at books or play. I had to blink back tears I was so happy. Those of you who saw her when she came home know how detached she was from everyone and everything. It's wonderful to see her "waking up".

Now if we could get this medication straightened out before we leave -- and the room painted, and packed...

Stephanie

Still no passports...

2007-04-30T16:35:00.000-04:00

Well, here we are, less than two weeks away from traveling and still waiting on passports for my mom & niece, Claire. A friend of ours was going to go with us but at the last minute was unable to go. So Mom & Claire stepped up to the plate. But, if we don't have the passports in the next day or so, looks like Steve & I will be making the trip by ourselves. Not such a big deal until you throw a 4 year old & 3 year old into the mix. And that's before we get Caleb!! So, anyone have any tips for entertaining young kids on very looong flights? I'm just picturing the faces of the other passengers as we walk onto the plane! Boy, will they wish they had booked a different flight! In 2005, on our way back with Grace, she started screaming in Hong Kong & went for 10 hours straight. The woman sitting behind Steve finally lost it and stood up, smacked the back of his chair and stomped off muttering something in Hindi.

I'm picturing the same for this time, only adding Zach into the mix, commenting loudly on everyone around us, "Mommy, why did that woman hit the back of Daddy's chair? Is she rude?", and Caleb, the wild card. As you can imagine, it's a little stressful in the house right now. Hmm, sedate the kids...sedate ourselves? There's an idea...

Stephanie

Midnight Musings

2007-04-28T00:41:00.000-04:00

It’s after midnight and I’ve just finished uploading the slideshow and choosing the music for the site. I should be in bed but picking out all of these pictures and songs has made me a little emotional. In June Steve and I will celebrate our thirteenth anniversary and I’m just thinking how lucky I am. Lucky to have him as a husband. Lucky to have my children. And lucky to be here with them.

I’m so aware that me just being here is a miracle. I’ve had four extra years that I shouldn’t have had and I feel so blessed to be healthy now and to have spent them with my family, and now to be bringing another child home. I’m scared and excited at the same time but I know it will be all right. God got us through my Crohn’s diagnosis and this past year with Gracie, He’ll get us through this.

You know, you never think you’re strong enough to do something until you’re thrown into the middle of it and there you find strength you never knew you had. Some people look at the past four years we've had and are amazed we're still standing but I wouldn't trade them for the world. Everything we went through brought us to this moment and it's right where we're supposed to be.

Stephanie

Itinerary

2007-04-27T08:39:00.000-04:00

Well we finally have our flights reserved. It's been a crazy week. Grace has been sick since Tuesday morning & we've been running around trying to book flights, get visas, call the passport office so that Mom & Claire can come with us--boy we hope so--and we haven't even started packing yet!

The one thing that we won't get to do that I really wanted to is see the orphanage. It's 8 hrs away by bus and even though we asked to see it, they said no.

Anyway, we leave on May 13, Mother's Day, and get to Guangzhou at 10:45pm on May 14.
Here's the rest of it:

May.14: Family Knipper arrive in Guangzhou on Flight NW9/22:45, transfer
to* *White Swan Hotel.

May 15: Free

May.16: At 14:00 go to the Civil Affairs to meet the child and sign the
adoption agreement.

May.17: At 09:00 go to the Civil Affairs for the adoption registration,
notarization in the morning.

May.18: Pick up the adoption certificate and apply the child’s passport.

May.19: Free.

May.20: Go to local department store to buy some daily necessities for
the child.

May.21: Visit the White Cloud Mountain.

May.22: Pearl River Cruise.

May.23: Medical and photo for the child.

Mar.24: Free.

May.25: Pick up passport.

May.26: Visit the Six Banyan Temple.

May.27-May.28: Free.

May.29: 9:00 am visa appointment at the U.S.Consulate.

May.30: At 16:00 pick up the visa in the afternoon.

May.31: Family Knipper leave Guangzhou for home on flight NW10/08:20,
transfer airport.

Wish us luck!

TA!!!

2007-04-24T15:22:00.000-04:00

Well, we finally recieved our TA (Travel Approval) this morning. Teri from our agency called & told us that we have to be in China on 5/15 (yikes! so soon!) and we'll get Caleb on 5/16. We will be in China until 5/31. Boy do we have a ton of stuff to do.

Stephanie

Sad day, Good news

2007-04-04T17:45:00.000-04:00

Today is the 6 year anniversary of my dad's death, always a hard day. I was talking to my mom a little while ago and we can't believe it's been this long. It seems like just yesterday that he was here with us. I think the hardest thing is that he never got to meet any of my children. He would have loved them all so much. Zach is so much like him that it's amazing to think they never met. Maybe we'll have another scientist in the family when he grows up, although he's still set on being an architect & pilot. Of course, he's only four. Things change.

Now to the good news. We officialy received and returned our LOA today (yes, we checked the box saying we still wanted Caleb!) I think it's appropriate that we received this today because his middle name will be "Le" in honor of both of his grandfathers - Leroy, my father & Leo, my father-in-law.

Stephanie

We got our LOA!

2007-04-03T17:16:00.000-04:00

Well, it isn't TA (Travel Approval) but it is one step closer. I just got a call from Teri at CHI and she said that we should be receiving our LOA tomorrow. This is a letter from the US consulate asking if we still want to adopt Caleb--gee, after waiting all this time, naah, I don't think so. Just kidding! The great thing about getting this letter is that the very next thing we get is our TA, which normally comes a few weeks after the LOA. So we could be in China in the next 6-8 weeks. Boy, do we have a lot to do. The boys' room isn't finished, I have to bring up some of Zach's old clothes and sort through them to find things I think will fit Caleb. We have to put together a packing list (believe me, this will take a while, especially since Zach & Grace are coming with us!) But most importantly we have to get our Visas. Well, I know what we'll be doing this weekend...

Stephanie

BTW - I also have to figure out a way to convince Zach we can't bring every child home. He saw this picture of Caleb,
he has been asking if we can also bring home the baby in the high chair. Our conversations go like this:

Zach "Can we also bring home that baby in the highchair?"

Me "No, honey." Then I try to explain that China has a rule where you can only adopt one baby at a time.

Zach "Is that a bad rule?"

Me "Well, we need to give Caleb and the rest of us time to adjust to being a larger family."

Zach "But is it a bad rule?"

Me "It's good and bad. It's good because it gives us time to adjust. It's bad because more babies could come home if you could adopt more than one at a time."

Zach "I could probably pick that baby up."

Me "I'm sure you could."

And there it stays until the next time he brings up the "baby in the highchair."

Welcome!

2007-03-19T17:19:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone!

Welcome to our blog. We're entering the home stretch of our adoption journey to bring Caleb home so I thought I'd create a place where everyone who wanted to could follow along. As most of you know, our paperwork is in China and we are just waiting patiently (or not!) for that all important Travel Approval (TA). Which we are hoping to get in a month or two. After that, it's four to six short weeks, and Caleb here we come!

When we started this journey we thought we'd be in China in March. Obviously that's not going to happen! Then we pushed it back to May. Now I'm guessing June which will put us at almost a year since we started the process. With Grace it only took eight months. At the time that seemed forever but now eight months is sounding pretty good!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy following along with us and I will try to update the blog regularly. Although with a four year old and three year old running around, it might not be too easy!

Stephanie